Is It OK To Stay Friends With Your Ex?

We live in a world where day after day, they try to prove that friendship with ex-partners isn't just normal, but good, civilized, and progressive. Psychologists think otherwise, and they have reason to do so.

As a rule, splitting up with our lovers, we swear to stay in good relations, keep in touch, not get lost, and come to help. In general, when cutting ties, unless, of course, it's a scandal accompanied by breaking dishes and thrown from the balcony of your mate's stuff, we are honestly going to stay friends and ... stop communicating at all. It turns out that people get lost, even with the warmest feelings for each other, and it's OK. We've discussed everything, figured out all we need, and become strangers to each other in a matter of moments.

Why Do We Tend to Stay Friends? has worked out the motives for why people want to stay friends with exes differ dramatically between men and women. If a woman who wants to “be friends” is usually unable to realize that the affair is over and it's time to move on, a man looks at the situation without illusions and wants to keep in touch to satisfy his sexual needs. So, don't get your hopes up — such friendship combined with sexual intercourse can last for years without any positive changes. Breaking up a relationship is always the fault of two people, so nothing is surprising that there is no desire to maintain the relationship after the tragic ending.

Situations When You Can Be Friends

Partners Meet Each Other in Everyday Life

You need to think through how to interact with your partner so that everyone is comfortable. That relates not only to exes but also to the people around them, because of whom they cannot break off communication. Friendship is about trust and mutual support. If neither of them is ready for that, but they have to continue contact for some reason, they should at least try not to let it descend into endless quarrels and sarcastic remarks about each other at every meeting.

Partners Were Originally More Friends Than Lovers

In the union of these two, there was initially no passion and romance, but there was always respect and mutual understanding. Although something didn't work out in terms of family, the partners are still interesting together, trusting each other. In such a situation, getting started friendly relations seems quite logical.

When It’s Better to Stop Your Communication

Partners Don’t and Didn’t Have Anything in Common

After the breakup, neither man nor woman understands how they managed to live together for several years as they are complete strangers to each other. The sweethearts separate and eventually forget that they had a love affair.

One of the Partners Has a Destructive Influence on the Other

Toxic relationships are worth getting out of once and for all. They are unlikely to lead to anything good. And don't expect anything to change in the toxic person's behavior after the breakup, and friendships will be very different from romantic relationships.

Your Breakup Was Too Painful

For example, it happened at the initiative of one partner, and the other did not want to break up at all. Or it was all about infidelity and betrayal. Here friendship is out of the question, at least until the pain and negative emotions subside. And that can take months or even years.

The idea of staying friends with an ex is reasonable under certain circumstances. Given the fact that many breakups are filled with drama and disagreement, remaining friends may be a sign of maturity on the part of the partners.